you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize