is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
