Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize