You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
