I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
