I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You ruined the universe
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
