PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
