I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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