I heard we made out
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
