Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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