I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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