He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
