White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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