i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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