Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
