I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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