Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
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