Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
