he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
