Have you finally orgasmed yet?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
