where am i from again
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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