don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Randomize
