Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
The Olympian is in my bed
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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