We're like a lot better than the average bears
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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