so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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