You're completely useless in the revolution.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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