I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
