This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
