I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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