it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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