doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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