Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
