I need help removing her.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Randomize
