oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
It's Friday. Sex?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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