put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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