just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Randomize
