she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
