Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
