We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
