I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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