guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
