I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
