So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
