Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
