i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
there was a trapeze. enough said
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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