do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
