I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
