There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
