Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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