i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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