My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
