WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
