The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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