i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
