I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
