Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
