My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He? As in you personified your dick?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
