forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
