He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Help. Why am I so naked?
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