Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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