I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
