I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
