This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize