I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize