so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize