i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
