Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
