A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
