dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
