It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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