Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize