BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
