He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize